This came from outer space from one of Mr. Radish's friends
Tiger Woods Holiday Poem
Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
> Tiger Woods he came flying, chased by his spouse.
>
She wielded a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
> because a bimbo’s phone number she found on his blackberry.
>
He’d been cheating on poor wife Elin, yup, double dealing
> and as each day went by another “love” came out squealing.
>
He’d been on Holly, on Jaimee, on Rachel, and Cori,
> On Joselyn, on Kalika, and TMZ had the story.
>
He slipped from top of the world to a porn center fold,
> as Tiger’s sordid tale was repeatedly told.
>
With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
> and when he wasn’t hosing them, he sent them hot texts.
>
He crashed his Caddy, but didn’t call OnStar,
> yet he played “spank me daddy” with a skanky old porn star.
>
He’s been naughty, so with Santa he hasn’t a chance,
> except the big lump of coal that matches the lump in his pants.
>
In spite of his cryin', beggin’, and pleadin’,
> Elin went right out, and bought a new home in Sweden
> .
> And I heard her exclaim as she packed up the Escalade,
> If you’re going to get laid, then I’m going to get paid.
>
Now she’s not pouting, in fact she’s full of cheer,
> because her prenup ~ Christmas came early this year